Painful Reality

Written October 27, 1998

My heart, my soul, my spirit,
smashed to tiny fragments,
crushed by words of foreboding,
trampled carelessly by steel-toed boots,
lying broken on hard factual floors.
Worries, frustrations, trepidations,
flying around,
careening boisterously,
ricocheting off the sides of this mind,
thrusting these notions into dreams,
terrifying, frightening,
rushing at closed lids,
at speeds unbearably rapid,
firing round after round of ammunition
at this sub-conscious's weak outer shell,
watching gleefully as it falls,
crumpled, onto hard factual floors.
Questions, disbeliefs, denials,
precariously crowded among screaming mobs,
haunting every daydream,
shouting at this brain's fantasies,
taunting relentlessly each wish,
ripping to shreds all forms of logic
tossing them indifferently onto hard factual floors.
Hopes, desires, faiths,
mocked unceasingly,
kicked and beaten mercilessly,
choked, throttled until but a spark of life remains inside,
then finally,
callously dropped from dizzying heights,
dashed to pieces on hard factual floors.
The terror,
the anguish,
the plaguing abstractions,
paralyzing me so that I'm apprehensive to open the doors
for fear of envelopment
within the cold, dark, shadowy blackness
that most certainly lies without,
Petrified by the very whisper of the impression
Of hard factual floors
awaiting my faltering footsteps.

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E-mail me at:SmileyCarli@yahoo.com