Fears

Written November 2nd, 1998

Afraid of not knowing,
I seek desperately for all.
The need for knowledge consumes my mind.
What don't I understand?
Why can't I comprehend?
Who will explain it all to me?
How can I fathom it?
When will I see the light?
Where will this knowledge be found?
I pick up every rock,
I drain out every pond and puddle,
I cut down every tree, studying
And numbering each and every leaf.
I search through every city,
I hunt through every forest,
And then...I sit.
I stop and sit.
I begin to think.
I ponder bewilderedly the rush of knowledge
That abruptly flows into me.
As it fills, it creates an emptiness,
So vast no ocean could be poured into it,
Not even to reach halfway up.
It is greater than fifteen universes,
Each star numbered among its kin.
What a headache I've achieved in all this...

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